I had always told myself that if I ever decided to leave my tent, I would move out in Spring or Autumn, never Winter. I would move out when the weather was at its best for tent living, and never let Winter's cold factor into my decision to leave. So what did I end up doing? I moved out in January, right in the middle of Winter. Not because it was too cold to continue with tent living, but because it was time to leave. It was time to rejoin society and start the next chapter in my life.
At the time that I left my tent, I had been living in it for about three years and had fully assimilated to the lifestyle. I had a comfortable home and a simple, peaceful life. I had just retired and was financially secure. But with all of those blessings, I was also completely unsettled. Retirement had disrupted my thoughts, forcing me to consider the question that so many of us ask, "What should I be doing with my life?" Signing my retirement papers was like cashing in a winning lottery ticket. No more financial worries! Nothing but leisure time! Great! But, now what?
And it wasn't just retirement that was disturbing me. Something else had been bothering me for some time. With each passing day, I had gotten further and further away from society. I felt more connected to the birds and the squirrels now, and less comfortable with my fellow humans. When you live a simple life, surrounded by Nature, everything in the world begins to make a lot of sense. Everything, that is, except for human society, with all of its self-inflicted pain and foolishness. I was becoming less and less tolerant of my fellow humans, and that was unsettling, too.
In January of 2015, it had all come to a head. I had been given the gift of total freedom and at the same time was on the verge of becoming a hermit! I felt lost and confused, and my instincts told me to retreat back to society. Perhaps it would have been better to leave my tent for different reasons, but I just wanted to go back home. Back to my fellow humans. I knew that it would be difficult. That I would have to work hard to remember what I had learned in the tent, and that over time I would probably come to view human society as "natural" once again. I was sure that staying in the tent would disconnect me further from society, and I was also sure that rejoining society would most probably disconnect me from Nature, but it was time. Time to go back home, before I slipped too far away.
Sunday, November 27, 2016
Friday, November 11, 2016
On Being Normal
It's a beautiful Autumn day, just past noon. I'm pretty sure the sky is clear because I see crisp shadows cast upon the fallen leaves in my back yard as the Sun's rays make their way through bare November tree limbs. If it's not clear, then it's mostly sunny anyway, I suppose. It should be a good day for birds, too. They're probably pretty active on a fine day like today, but I really can't be sure because their songs are muted by the R-13 wall insulation and double-pane windows that keep me so comfortable this time of year. And even if that weren't the case, the dishwasher is running in the kitchen so all I can hear is its "swish" and "rumble" as I sit at my dining room table typing on a fully-charged laptop that is plugged into the wall and connected wirelessly to a router that is cabled into Comcast's high-speed Internet at $80/month. But anyway, the birds are probably happy today, this typical day in the life of a typical American in the year 2016.
Normal. It's all very normal. I got up this morning, not to the sound of birds chirping at dawn as I did in my tent days, but because I was just done sleeping. I had no idea what time it was so I walked into the kitchen and glanced at the digital clock on the electric stove. It was close to 7:30am. The birds would have finished their morning songs some time ago, but that thought never crossed my mind because that's not something that normal people think about. I looked out the window and wondered what the temperature was. I don't have a thermometer hanging outside my door like I did in my tent days because it doesn't really matter what it's like outside anyway. What matters is the temperature inside my house, which is always right at 70 degrees, maintained automatically, day and night, Summer or Winter.
I've been out of my tent for nearly two years now. It took me that much time to decide to start writing again. I had to figure out what I wanted to say, but I think I've got a pretty good idea now. And I think this Tent Living blog is the place to say it, not because I still live in a tent, but because tent living was but one chapter of a story that I'm ready to continue now. It's the story of the multitude of social constructs that mankind has created for themselves, and our capacity to accept them. It's about the struggle within each of us to reconcile two inner voices. Two voices that I believe each of us hears, in some degree, for it's a human condition and we are all much the same in that regard. It's about the struggle to find internal peace and happiness while living a normal life. To find beauty and contentment and meaning is a man-made world. To shine brilliantly right smack dab in the middle of being normal.
Normal. It's all very normal. I got up this morning, not to the sound of birds chirping at dawn as I did in my tent days, but because I was just done sleeping. I had no idea what time it was so I walked into the kitchen and glanced at the digital clock on the electric stove. It was close to 7:30am. The birds would have finished their morning songs some time ago, but that thought never crossed my mind because that's not something that normal people think about. I looked out the window and wondered what the temperature was. I don't have a thermometer hanging outside my door like I did in my tent days because it doesn't really matter what it's like outside anyway. What matters is the temperature inside my house, which is always right at 70 degrees, maintained automatically, day and night, Summer or Winter.
I've been out of my tent for nearly two years now. It took me that much time to decide to start writing again. I had to figure out what I wanted to say, but I think I've got a pretty good idea now. And I think this Tent Living blog is the place to say it, not because I still live in a tent, but because tent living was but one chapter of a story that I'm ready to continue now. It's the story of the multitude of social constructs that mankind has created for themselves, and our capacity to accept them. It's about the struggle within each of us to reconcile two inner voices. Two voices that I believe each of us hears, in some degree, for it's a human condition and we are all much the same in that regard. It's about the struggle to find internal peace and happiness while living a normal life. To find beauty and contentment and meaning is a man-made world. To shine brilliantly right smack dab in the middle of being normal.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)