It's January now, and temperatures are dropping. My friends worry about me this time of year. They ask me how I'm doing. A few of them have invited me into their homes for the winter, or for a break from the cold. But I reassure them that I'm doing okay, and that I have Virginia winters in a tent pretty much figured out now.
January and February are the cold months in Virginia, with highs in the 40s and lows in the 20s. That's pretty cold, but I've been acclimating. I'm pretty comfortable now standing around in a T-shirt and bare feet at 35 degrees. (Well, for a little while anyway.) And some of these sunny January days feel downright balmy.
Not only am I acclimating to the cold, I'm also accepting the cold more now. I think that's another secret to staying comfortable. I expect my fingers to be numb as I gather tinder and kindling for the evening fire. And adjusting kerosene lamps and striking matches without the sense of touch is normal this time of year.
And then there are the warm time. The cozy times. Even the hot times, when I have to open the door and let some cold air in because the wood stove got too hot.
A lingering hint of wood smoke is always present in the tent this time of year, and I like that. Every time I open the stove door, a little puff of smoke escapes. But I don't like too much smoke. Turns out it takes very little smoke to set off a smoke detector in a 12' x 14' tent. "Beep! Beep! Fire! Fire!" I hear it every night. Granted, it's a friendly female voice that says, "Fire! Fire!", but it's still annoying.
I can get away with letting out one puff of smoke once in a while, maybe two. But if three of four escape it's, "Beep! Beep! Fire! Fire!", followed by me hitting the "hush" button on the smoke detector and opening the door to clear out the smoke. One minute it'll be 80 degrees and nice and cozy and I'll be putting another log on the fire, and the next minute I'll be running around, opening the door, and freezing again.
But usually, things work just fine and I stay warm. In fact, I've only had one wood stove failure this year. It happened the second night that I burned the stove.
It was the middle of the night, maybe 4am. I woke up to urinate and on my way back to bed opened the stove door to check on the fire. There was a wonderful bed of coals, maybe 5 inches deep, with a couple of pieces of nearly-burnt wood sitting on top. The fuel would soon be gone so I figured I'd load up the stove. I smiled thinking about how comfortable the rest of the night would be, and how I'd wake up to a nice warm tent.
I put in a few small pieces of wood first, then bigger ones on top of those. The coals were really hot so the smaller pieces took off immediately. Flames started roaring up the stove pipe as I placed more and more wood in the fire box.
As I finished loading the stove, the flames were still roaring so I got the poker out and moved the wood around a little to calm things down. It was right about then that I heard a, "Thwup!". What was that? Sounded like something went up the stove pipe. But what? No paper in there. Maybe...
Holy crap! Flames started belching out of the door! I shut it immediately. Now smoke was pouring out of the draft holes in the stove door! "Beep! Beep! Fire! Fire!"
I was still half asleep. I wasn't thinking straight. Everything was happening so quickly. "Beep! Beep! Fire! Fire!" It was dark but I could smell smoke. Thick smoke. I ran out of the tent.
I left the door open and smoke rolled out. I stepped away from the door to catch some fresh air. "Beep! Beep! Fire! Fire!" I was now standing outside in my underwear in 30 degrees, trying to compose myself and figure out what to do next.
I reached inside the door and grabbed my flashlight. The tent was filled with smoke from the ceiling down to within two feet of the floor. I could see thick smoke still pouring out of the draft holes. "Beep! Beep! Fire! Fire!"
Okay, I was wide awake now. Don't breathe the smoke. Don't even breathe near the floor. You've already inhaled too much. "Beep! Beep! Fire! Fire!" Hold your breath, go close the draft, and kill that damn smoke detector!
Ready? Go!......Done, and back outside.
Okay, think. There was that "Thwup!" noise. What the hell was that? Damn it's cold out here! Sounded like paper going up the pipe. But no paper in there. Bark? Maybe bark? Damn it's cold!
I shined the flashlight back in. The smoke was starting to clear. I could see what was going on a little better now. The stove wasn't smoking, but smoke was seeping out of the cracks in the stove pipe. That meant the obstruction was outside, high in the pipe. But how? What was going on? Damn it's cold!
Okay, hold your breath and go get some clothes!...Okay, back outside.
I stood on the stoop for some time, waiting for the pipes to stop seeping smoking, but they never did. One more dash into the tent to grab my pillow and sleeping bag, then out to my truck for the night.
The next day, I took apart a section of stove pipe and immediately found out what had happened. I had installed new pipe. Black pipe. Black painted pipe. And the paint had peeled from the inside of the pipe. The "Thwup!" that I had heard was the sound of a sheet of peeled paint breaking loose on three sides and hinging itself nice and tight in the stove pipe. A fine obstruction. In fact, there were two obstructions just like that!
That was an exciting night. I've had other nights when the smoke has chased me out for awhile. Like when I tried to build the fire too quickly and the whole thing went out and smoked up the place. Things like that. But usually it's warm and cozy. So don't worry, friends. I'm hanging in there. And Spring is getting closer all the time!
